Chronic illness completely alters every facet of life. Loss of a sense of self is one of the lesser discussed psychological impacts of chronic illness. When you are stripped from mental or physical capacities that were an integral part of your former self; you lose your sense of self. 

“The real pain comes from not being able to be the person you were before you got sick, and not being able to live out your pre-illness hopes and dreams. This pain seems deeper and more personal than mere physical pain. It makes you question your value as an individual and makes you wonder how you will find meaning and purpose in your chronic life.”

The Real Pain of Chronic Illness: When Sickness Steals Your Identity | by Chronicality | Chronicality | Medium  

Life changes very quickly when illness arrives. Suddenly, future dreams & aspirations may become impossible to achieve. Passions and activities that were once ingrained in a person’s day to day, may not be possible for their future self.  

Life becomes more restricted. Days are consumed with debilitating symptoms, medical care & treatment. As life becomes focused on illness + recovery; an individual may start to retreat and socially isolate. There is a sense of protection in disconnection.  

“A fundamental form of that suffering is the loss of self in chronically ill persons who observe their former self-images crumbling away without the simultaneous development of equally valued new ones. The experiences and meanings upon which these ill persons had built former positive self-images are no longer available to them.”

The loss of ‘self’ in chronic illness is what really hurts – Heart Sisters (myheartsisters.org

“Self” construct begins to develop in childhood & is maintained as a result of our lifelong interpersonal relationships. When mind or body failure begins; the loss of sense of self begins. This may create tremendous discomfort and uncertainty.  

The psychological impacts of illness are profound. Illness changes everything. It creates a life riddled with unpredictability + fear. The former self is lost & the future becomes a giant unknown. The ill often feel like a burden. They feel guilt which further compounds to the difficulties of navigating illness.  

It is impossible to emerge from chronic illness unscathed. There are fundamental shifts in the ills perspective on life. There is a deep appreciation & gratitude for the small victories.

A new sense of self starts to be constructed. This sense of self allows us to create & cultivate a new identity to propel us into the future, as individuals who learn to live with and manage lifelong conditions with illness.

This results in many interpersonal shifts. It can be difficult for loved ones to understand the fact that the person they loved is no longer the same person they were prior to being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Their former self is a thing of the past. That being no longer exists.  

The healing journey requires the ill to grieve their former sense of self.  

My lifelong invisible illnesses have reshaped how I see & experience everything. These illnesses fundamentally changed me, but they shaped my loved ones in a different way. It is hard to understand what it is like to battle chronic illness. It is even more difficult for loved ones to reckon a former self of someone they knew and loved with their current self.  

Invisible illnesses add an additional layer of complexity to recovery. Stigma continues to surround those inflicted with mental illness. Stigma appears in family dynamics, romantic relationships, friendships, in the workplace & in the community. This stigma further shapes one’s self-construct and sense of self. It also adds a compounding difficulty to those inflicted with a long list of more profound health concerns to manage.

The only way to move forward once life is forever changed by chronic illness and the loss of sense of self, is to grieve your former self, find your footing in the new self that is being constructed & not let yourself or others define you by your illness.